From Sports Gambling to Financial Harm: Where Gambling Crosses the Line
I gamble on sports. I have a Polymarket account, a Kalshi account, a FanDuel account, and play in two fantasy football leagues (managing one of them). It's obvious that I am not anti-gambling.
But my feelings about gambling are along the same lines as many others. According to the latest State of American Men survey, 35 percent of young men have used prediction markets like Kalshi or Polymarket, and they are more likely to say these platforms are good for “you, personally” than society as a whole.
How I gamble and how much I gamble is healthy and good for me personally. And for many couples, gambling feels harmless because the bills are still getting paid and life looks normal on the surface.
But I worry about addiction-prone people who now have casinos in their phones and can wager unlimited amounts of money in impulsive moments. That’s why I spoke to Dr. Shandra Parks about gambling. She is the Board President of the Maryland Council on Problem Gambling.
This post captures many of the lessons learned in that conversation and includes the full podcast episode with Dr. Parks.
Why Gambling is Called the “Silent Addiction”
For as long as I can remember, a gambling addict was portrayed in the movies at casinos or backroom card games with the mob. But that's an outdated image, and according to Dr. Parks, it's one of the biggest reasons gambling harm goes unnoticed.
According to one Bankrate survey, almost half of Americans don’t know everything about their spouse or partner’s finances, making it easy for some to hide gambling losses. It's certainly easier to hide than substance abuse problems.
How gambling changed when it moved into our phones
Gambling lives on our phones. I do all of my gambling on my phone. I can't remember the last time I walked into a casino, and I don't want to anytime soon.
Dr. Parks emphasized that mobile apps have fundamentally changed access. Sports betting, online casinos, and in-game purchases are available around the clock. You can check your fantasy team score while you're at your kid’s soccer game or at dinner with your family. At least that's what I've heard.
Dr. Parks brought up a term that is new to me: “loot boxes.” It's a feature in many games where users pay for randomized rewards. The psychology is dangerous. They let users risk a little more to avoid waiting, advance faster, or get closer to winning some sort of game or competition, training the brain to chase outcomes rather than pause and assess cost.
Why gambling feels different than other money problems
Most couples can talk about overspending or credit card debt with some level of openness, and the shame of gambling losses can feel even heavier. In our conversation, Dr. Parks described how gambling carries a unique mix of intense emotions such as shame and secrecy.
I see it at times in my work as a Certified Financial Therapist™ and Accredited Financial Counselor®. When people hide their losses, they usually aren't doing so out of malice; they're embarrassed or ashamed.
When Entertainment Becomes a Problem
Gambling crosses the line when it becomes “solution-focused economics,” meaning that you're using gambling as a strategy to overcome previous losses or try to make a quick buck to solve a different financial problem.
Early warning signs couples often miss
In our conversation, Dr. Parks pointed out some red flags:
Preoccupation with gambling or sports betting
Disrupted sleep or routines tied to games or bets
Deleted transactions or unusual account activity
Taking longer routes home or unexplained absences
Bills still getting paid, but differently or later than before
First steps toward solutions
If something feels off, Dr. Parks urged listeners to start small. Pause. Breathe. Acknowledge that something may be bigger than you can manage alone. Then reach out.
It can be really hard to balance the need to correct the problem with the empathy the gambling addict needs. Dr. Parks emphasized separating the person from the behavior. Gambling harm is real, but the person is not the problem.
She shared the National Council on Problem Gambling helpline: 1-800-522-4700, a confidential resource that connects callers to state-level support and treatment options.
Modern Husbands Podcast Episode
Dr. Parks closed with a reminder every couple needs to hear: recovery is possible, and hope remains. Gambling harm thrives in silence. Couples heal through conversation, boundaries, and teamwork.
If this topic resonated, listen to the full Modern Husbands podcast episode and share it with someone who might need to hear it.
Dr. Shandra Parks serves as Board President of the Maryland Council on Problem Gambling and is a Family Involvement Facilitator, Resource Home Worker, and Field Instructor for MSW students at the University of Maryland School of Social Work. Dr. Parks provides wellness counseling, financial education, as well as financial counseling to individuals and families impacted by Disordered gambling.
Show Notes
00:00 Introduction
02:03 You work with people and families affected by problem gambling every day. When you hear the phrase “gambling addiction,” what do most people get wrong?
03:08 Many people picture casinos or slot machines. How has gambling changed in the last decade, especially with apps, sports betting, and online platforms?06:01 What are loot boxes?
12:07 Does gambling feel different from other money struggles like overspending or credit card debt? If so, why?
13:19 What are some early warning signs that gambling is becoming unhealthy, even if bills are still getting paid?
20:59 Many people tell themselves “I’m just doing small bets” or “this is entertainment.” Where is the line between entertainment and risk?
25:37 If someone is listening right now and feeling uneasy about their behavior, what is the first step that doesn’t feel overwhelming or shame-filled?
31:03 How should a spouse bring up concerns without triggering defensiveness or shutdown?
34:07 How do you balance compassion for the person struggling with gambling while still protecting yourself financially and emotionally?
37:00 How long does recovery typically take, and what does progress realistically look like?
39:01 What is one piece of simple and actionable advice you want to share with our listeners?
When Professional Support Should Enter the Conversation
You cannot out-communicate a dysregulated nervous system. If repeated secrecy, lying about losses, borrowing to gamble, mood swings tied to outcomes, or chronic boundary violations are present, professional support is not an overreaction. These patterns are well-established markers of gambling harm progression (NCPG).
National Council on Problem Gambling
The National Council on Problem Gambling is the only national nonprofit organization that seeks to minimize the economic and social costs associated with gambling addiction.
Click here to learn more or call 1-800-GAMBLER
Maryland Council for Problem Gambling
Advocates for treatment, education, prevention, and responsible gambling. They are the voice of hope for problem gambling in Maryland.
Click here to learn more.
GamFin: Financial Counseling for Gambling Addiction
They provide financial counseling and recovery tools for individuals and loved ones in financial distress due to gambling.
Click here to learn more.
Birches Health: A U.S.-based Telehealth Provider
They specialize in confidential, evidence-based virtual treatment for gambling addiction by licensed specialists, often covered by insurance.
Click here to learn more.
