The internet is filled with advice about getting a prenuptial agreement before you get married. Lawyers tell people to "protect yourself when you get married" and "don't lose your assets". It’s certainly a common question we get at Modern Husbands.
People think that most couples in first marriages have prenups before they get married, but it's not true. According to one national expert,
"Prenups are actually bad for most marriages." - Laurie Israel
Laurie is a national prenuptial agreement mediator, consultant, lawyer, and author of "The Generous Prenup: How to Support Your Marriage and Avoid the Pitfalls.”
We hosted Laurie on the Modern Husbands Podcast to discuss when prenups are appropriate, when they’re not, and the damage they can cause.
Prenups: What is a Prenup and What are the Pros and Cons of a Prenup?
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Wrap your mind around this, the prenuptial agreement is often drafted by people who haven't been married long. They say we should give up the generations-old wisdom of established law and "invent our own law" to form the basis of prenups. Lawyers see prenups as asset protection, not as a financial plan to protect a marriage.
If you’re entering your first marriage, a better place to start is mediation. You and your future spouse can talk openly about your post-marriage finances and property rights with a mediator, who can give you all the info you need.
The bottom line is that a prenup should feel good to both of you, not just one. Think about the ramifications of having one, not just for your pocketbook, but for your marriage.
To learn more, read Should We Really Have a Prenup? (Part I)