Happiness Through Intentional Time Management

As a busy dual-career couple juggling responsibilities at work and home, the concept of time poverty—the feeling of having too much to do and not enough time to do it—may feel all too familiar. 

During our conversation with Dr. Cassie Holmes, a leading expert in time and happiness and the bestselling author of Happier Hour, she shared valuable insights about how we can regain control over our time and increase joy in our lives.

Dr. Holmes has dedicated her research to uncovering how to spend time meaningfully. She reminded me that happiness isn’t about cramming more activities into our schedules but about intentionality—using time to do what truly matters. 

With her wisdom in mind, here are three actionable steps you and your partner can take to reduce stress, increase happiness, and strengthen your bond.

1. Prioritize Quality Over Quantity

Dr. Holmes emphasized that it’s not about having endless free time but how we spend the time we do have. For couples, carving out even 30 minutes of intentional, undistracted time together can create meaningful connection. For example, she and her husband take daily walks with their dog—a simple ritual that strengthens their relationship.

Turn routines into rituals. Name them and make them special: “Our Evening Walk” or “Sunday Coffee Chats.” These small changes shift the focus to connection and intention.

Action Step to Prioritize Quality Over Quantity

Identify one activity you already do together and elevate it into a cherished ritual. Whether it’s a daily walk or sharing breakfast, make it a time to connect without distractions.

2. Use Time Blocking to Protect What Matters

One of the most practical tools Dr. Holmes recommends is time blocking. This involves setting aside specific blocks of time for focused work, exercise, family, or rest. It’s not just about work efficiency but also about protecting personal and family time. When these moments are intentionally scheduled, they’re less likely to be pushed aside by emails, errands, or distractions.

Dr. Holmes noted the importance of scheduling time not only for productivity but for joy. Reflect on your week, and intentionally reserve blocks for activities that rejuvenate you or bring you closer as a couple.

Action Step to Use Time Blocking to Protect What Matters

Sit down with your partner to plan an “ideal week.” Block time for shared activities, personal priorities, and self-care. Treat these appointments as sacred.

3. Savor the Simple Joys

Often, the happiest moments are the simplest ones: sharing a meal, reading a bedtime story, or laughing together. But our tendency toward hedonic adaptation—becoming accustomed to routines—means we often overlook these moments. Dr. Holmes suggests combatting this by reflecting on what brings you joy and savoring those experiences.

For example, she spoke about how fleeting moments, like tucking a child into bed, take on deeper meaning when we realize they won’t last forever. Recognizing the preciousness of these experiences helps us cherish them in the moment.

Action Step to Savor the Simple Joys

Over the next two weeks, track your time and note the activities that bring you the most joy. Then, find ways to incorporate those activities into your schedule more intentionally.

Building a Happier, More Productive Life

As Dr. Holmes highlighted, time management isn’t just about checking off tasks; it’s about creating a life that aligns with your values and priorities. For busy couples, happiness doesn’t come from doing it all—it comes from doing what matters most, together.

By prioritizing quality time, blocking time for joy, and savoring simple moments, you can create a happier, more fulfilling life as a couple. As you move forward, remember that intentionality is key. Don’t let time happen to you—design it with purpose.

Dr. Holmes’s book, Happier Hour, offers more strategies to help you craft a meaningful and joy-filled life. For couples like us, her insights are a gift—a reminder that even in the busiest seasons, happiness is within reach.

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