It’s Time to Redefine the Gender Pay Gap, Here’s Why

Every year, headlines remind us that women earn less than men. In 2025, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that full-time working women earned 82 cents for every dollar earned by men, which reflects a reversal of progress to a now widening gap. That number is technically correct, but it tells only part of the story. The way we measure the gender pay gap has not evolved with how couples live and work today.

The statistic compares the median weekly pay of full-time working men and women, regardless of what they do for a living. It lumps together teachers and lawyers, nurses and software engineers, without asking a more important question:

Why do women so often end up in lower-paying work in the first place?

Critics sometimes argue that the gender pay gap reflects “choices” women make. They say women are more likely to pick flexible jobs, part-time schedules, or careers that allow them to be home for children. Take for instance this response to a LinkedIn comment I made in which I simply shared Dr. Goldin's Nobel Prize awarding winning research on the gender pay gap:

While pointing out that on average, women tend to select lower paying careers is true in a surface-level sense, it completely misses the point. The problem is not that women choose these paths. The problem is that our economy makes these paths the only viable option for many working mothers.

The Missing Story Behind the Pay Gap

When a child is born, someone must handle the appointments, the childcare, and the emergencies that interrupt the workday. In most families, that person is still the mother. If one parent’s job is inflexible and the other offers some wiggle room, logic dictates that the parent with flexibility will absorb more caregiving. Over time, this division cements itself into habit, career trajectory, and income potential.

Women often take jobs that pay less but provide more predictability or part-time options. They shift into roles that allow them to leave work at five, skip weekend travel, or handle after-school pickups. You can use the USA Facts Interactive (displayed below) to see how the gender pay gap widens in more "conservative and traditional states" such as Utah, where the gap is 73 cents on the dollar.

These are not signs of lesser ambition. They are acts of service to their families. The consequence is that over a lifetime, those trade-offs compound into smaller paychecks, fewer promotions, and smaller retirement accounts.

Men, meanwhile, remain in jobs that reward long hours and constant availability. These “greedy jobs,” as Harvard economist Dr. Claudia Goldin calls them, pay disproportionately more for long and inflexible schedules. Goldin’s research earned her a Nobel Prize in 2023, and for good reason. Her findings reveal how much workplace structure—not personal preference—drives the gender pay gap.

What “Greedy Work” Really Means

Greedy work is not about greed in the moral sense. It describes jobs that pay more for employees who can work longer, unpredictable, or inconvenient hours. Think of a lawyer who earns a huge bonus for being available to clients at 11 p.m. or a banker who never truly leaves the office. The system rewards total availability with higher pay.

For couples, this creates a painful math problem. If one partner takes a high-paying but inflexible job, someone else must handle the caregiving and home labor that cannot wait. In heterosexual couples, that “someone” is usually the woman. If both partners tried to hold greedy jobs, family life would collapse. So the family takes a hit to flexibility, and the woman’s career takes the hit to earnings.

Dr. Goldin was awarded the 2023 winner of the Nobel Prize in Economics for her work on the gender pay gap. She found that when women shift into roles or sectors that are less “greedy,” they gain more control over their time but lose out financially. Over time, this leads to inequality even within marriages that aim for balance. The couple might see themselves as a team, but the market rewards one partner’s time far more than the other’s.

Even in the Same Job, the Gap Persists

Some people still argue that if you control for occupation, education, and experience, the pay gap disappears. It doesn’t. Bureau of Labor Statistics data shows that men out-earn women across every one of the 15 major occupational categories tracked in 2024. That includes jobs where men and women perform identical duties.

In legal professions, the gap is especially wide. Women lawyers make significantly less than men in the same roles, largely because the highest-paying firms reward constant availability and punishing hours. In fields that have restructured to be less greedy, the gap narrows dramatically.

Pharmacy is a perfect example. Decades ago, most pharmacists owned their own stores and worked long hours. As the industry shifted toward corporate chains like CVS and Walgreens, pharmacists became interchangeable. Technology and standardization made it easier for one to cover for another. The result is one of the smallest gender pay gaps of any high-paying profession.

Pediatrics shows a similar pattern. Pediatricians began forming group practices where multiple doctors share patients and schedules. Parents became comfortable seeing different doctors in the same practice, making it easier for physicians to control their hours. The pay gap shrank, and overall satisfaction improved for both doctors and patients.

The lesson is clear. When jobs become more flexible, the gender pay gap narrows. When jobs demand unbroken loyalty and constant availability, the gap widens.

A Fair Redefinition

The gender pay gap should not be reduced to a comparison of median earnings. That oversimplified number hides the real problem: our economy systematically penalizes flexibility and undervalues caregiving. Moreover, it perpetuates the false narrative that the gender pay gap is a myth.

It is time to redefine the gender pay gap as the difference between what men and women earn for the same work under the same conditions. We also need to measure how much women pay, literally, for the flexibility their families depend on.

When a mother takes a lower-paying job so that her family can function, she is subsidizing her partner’s career and the broader economy. Economists rarely account for this hidden labor cost, even though unpaid care work adds trillions to the U.S. economy each year.

Why This Matters for Couples

For women who want equal partnership and a fulfilling career, the current system is not fair. It forces impossible trade-offs between income and presence. It rewards the partner who works longest, not necessarily the one who works hardest or most efficiently.

For men, this imbalance is equally limiting. Many fathers want to be present for school drop-offs, soccer games, or family dinners, but greedy work makes it financially difficult to step back. When men are punished for taking parental leave or flexible schedules, everyone loses.

A truly equal partnership requires workplaces that value results over face time. It requires cultural change that normalizes men taking caregiving leave. It requires policies that make childcare affordable and flexible work accessible to all.

Why Men Should Care

The gender pay gap isn't a women's issue, its a family issue. The majority of households are comprised of two income earners. Women are now outpacing men as college graduates for all degree levels. Maximizing income potential should always be a factor in your household, and if women are bringing in less, you are bringing in less as a family.

What Progress Looks Like

Progress is possible. Some firms encourage men to take parental leave to reduce resentment when women do the same. Others are redesigning roles to reward outcomes rather than hours logged. The more interchangeable workers become within a firm, the easier it is to distribute labor fairly.

Countries like Sweden have shown what happens when income inequality narrows and childcare is subsidized. Gender gaps shrink, and both parents have more freedom to pursue balance. In the U.S., progress may come more slowly, but remote work and technology have already shown how flexible jobs can thrive without sacrificing productivity.

If you’re planning to grow your family, take advantage of our free family financial planning calculator to estimate the various caregiving/career change scenarios to uncover the long term financial implications of each decision. 

The Bottom Line

The gender pay gap is not just about numbers. It is about values. It reflects what our culture rewards and what it takes for families to function.

If we want equality, we have to redesign work itself. That means making flexibility affordable, rewarding collaboration instead of constant competition, and measuring success by more than the hours spent on a laptop.

The gender pay gap is not about women earning less. It is about how much our economy undervalues time, care, and fairness. And until we redefine what fair pay really means, equality will remain out of reach.

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