Chores, Robots, and the Mental Load: A Post for the Boys

Let’s face it. Nobody dreams of folding laundry or scrubbing the floor after a long day. So here’s some good news: in the not-so-distant future, up to 40% of our time spent on mundane chores could be automated, according to AI experts at Oxford University.

Yes, you read that right. The Jetsons were onto something.

Cooking robots, robotic vacuums, smart lawnmowers, and even AI-powered window cleaners are here—or just around the corner.

So, if you’re one of the many guys looking to be more helpful around the house (and maybe avoid a few arguments along the way), this is your moment.

But there’s a catch.

Tech can help with household chores, but only if we use it right. If we’re not thoughtful, that fancy robot vacuum or smart fridge might actually create more work, especially for our partners.

Let’s break it down.

🚀 The Promise of Automation: Doing Less by Doing Smart

According to researchers at MIT Sloan, generative AI and other smart home innovations are increasingly being used to handle tasks like meal planning, scheduling appointments, and even folding laundry.

Sound like sci-fi?

Think again.

Tech companies are already rolling out robotic chefs that can prepare simple meals and smart dishwashers that adjust based on what’s inside them.

And here’s the cool part. This isn’t just about gadgets. It’s about reclaiming time. With AI-enabled vacuums like the ECOVACS Deebot X2 or robotic mowers handling the yard, we get more time to hang with our kids, support our partner’s career, or just relax with a cold one.

⚠️ But Hold Up: When Automation Backfires

Here’s the reality check. Just because a task is technically automated doesn’t mean it’s mentally off your plate—or your partner’s.

Picture this: you buy a robot mop thinking it’s going to eliminate floor cleaning forever. But now someone has to charge it, clean it, troubleshoot it, and decide when and how to use it. If you just drop the box in the kitchen and say, “Here babe, I bought this for us,” you may have just added another item to her mental checklist. That’s not helping—that’s shifting the burden.

As I shared in my previous post about the mental load, the issue isn’t just doing the tasks. It’s thinking about what needs to be done, planning it, and remembering to do it consistently. And that’s where automation can either help or hurt.

💡 Tech That Actually Helps (If You Own It)

The trick is choosing smart home tech that genuinely reduces the mental load, not just the physical chore. And more importantly, if you’re going to bring tech into the house, you need to manage it.

Here are a few automation options that can really work—if you’re the one setting them up and managing them:

🧹 Robot Vacuums and Mops

Good ones (like Roomba or ECOVACS) can map your house and clean on a schedule. Just don’t make your partner memorize the app or clean the brushes. You take care of that.

🍽️ Meal Planning Apps with AI

Apps like Whisk or ChatGPT-powered planners can automate weekly meals and create grocery lists. Take charge of the meal plan once a week and you’ve lifted a huge chunk of mental load.

🧺 Smart Laundry Detergent Dispensers

Some washing machines now dispense the right amount of detergent automatically. Just make sure you’re the one refilling and maintaining it.

🌿 Lawn-Mowing Robots

If your yard is a source of stress, robotic lawnmowers are becoming surprisingly good. Just don’t expect your partner to troubleshoot a stuck blade on a Sunday afternoon.

🗓️ Shared Digital Calendars and Task Boards

A shared Google Calendar or a chore app like CoExist can help divide and automate task reminders. But again, someone has to set it up—and that someone should be you.

🤝 A Team Approach Means Tech with Intention

Research from TechPolicy.Press warns that automation has the potential to exacerbate inequalities at home if it’s not used mindfully.

That means, fellas, we can’t just buy a shiny new robot and call it a day. We have to engage with it, learn how it works, maintain it, and talk with our partners about how to share the benefits and responsibilities.

If you want to reduce stress and avoid resentment in your relationship, use automation as a tool, not a cop-out. According to Oxford’s AI and home research, the impact of household tech depends not just on what it does, but who is using it and how.

🧠 The Complementary Solution

The problem with automating domestic labor is that it can increase the invisible mental load that comes with it. That’s why I include Persist as a part of my package in supporting clients.

Persist doesn’t just track tasks—it reveals the invisible mental load each partner carries, giving couples a powerful tool to divide household responsibilities more equitably and with less conflict. 

I am the only Accredited Financial Counselor® and Fair Play Facilitator® (domestic labor specialist), empowering high-achieving couples with systems to manage money and the home as a team — drawn from decades of national leadership and lived experience.

If you’re ready to go beyond surface-level fixes and start building a more balanced home life—one that supports both your careers and well-being—then let’s connect. You deserve a partnership that works smarter, not harder.

Click here to learn more about me and how I can help.