Do Men Have More Free Time? Yes. 6 Steps to Close the Divide
Most husbands want to be great partners, which is true in my circle of friends and family.
I often get frustrated when we are unfairly portrayed as people who don't strive to be loving spouses.
What is equally frustrating is that people don't recognize inequities in a home often arise from a series of choices couples slip into over time. These decisions are not intentional or nefarious; they result from countless contributing factors.
Regarding free time, many dual-career couples like ourselves unknowingly contribute to a significant disparity.
Research from the Gender Equity Policy Institute (GEPI) highlights the persistence of the "free-time gender gap," which shows that women consistently spend more time on household tasks and child-rearing, leaving them significantly less free time than men.
For husbands in dual-career marriages, we must take steps to address this to strengthen our relationships. We should all strive for equal leisure time in our relationships.
Understanding the Free-Time Gender Gap
According to GEPI's 2024 report, women, on average, spend 2.2 times as much time as men on unpaid household work and child care. What surprised me most was that this imbalance was present across all races and employment statuses.
The work women do inside the home is well documented. Despite more women entering the workforce, the reduction in work at home hasn't matched their increased workload outside it, leaving them with a "second shift" of household responsibilities. Here are three disturbing data points from the GEPI report that must be addressed:
Mothers who work part-time still perform nearly four times as much household work and child care as fathers in similar part-time roles.
Women without children have 13% less leisure time than men on average.
This figure rises to 19% among parents.
My goal for this post is to share how dual-career couples can close the leisure time divide.
6 Steps Husbands Can Take to Close the Free-Time Gender Gap
Here are six actionable strategies that husbands can implement to ensure an equitable division of household work and create more balanced free time for both partners:
1. Address Cultural Norms
The free-time gender gap isn’t just a household issue—it’s a reflection of longstanding cultural norms that place more value on men’s careers and leisure time than on women’s. To be crystal clear, I am not taking a swipe at men. Countless traditional, structural, and cultural norms naturally nudge us to fall into this trap.
I recently had a great conversation with Equal Partners author Dr. Kate Mangino, who pointed out that we can’t expect meaningful changes at home through systems or technology until we address our mindsets.
What's clear to me is that striving for equal leisure time will make for a happier marriage.
2. Audit and Equalize Household Tasks
Schedule time to sit down and audit how you each spend your time inside and outside the home. The most straightforward way is to use Dr. Corinne Low's Time Tracker.
For couples who work roughly the same number of hours outside the home, you'll need to dig deeper into the work inside the home, including the mental load. The best tool for doing so is the Better Share App.
3. Be Proactive with Child Care (Caregiving)
According to the GEPI report, mothers spend an average of 9 hours per week on child care, compared to just 4.7 hours for fathers. Here are three ways for fathers to close the gap:
Be the default parent.
Handle all bedtime responsibilities.
Be in charge of school pickup and/or drop-off.
4. Stop "Helping" and Start Taking Ownership
In dual-income relationships, household work is done through teamwork. It starts with a leadership mindset and spirit of collaboration.
We're adults; we don't "help" or ask how we can help. Children help their parents. We take full ownership of our responsibilities. Nobody should have to remind us or tell us how to do our chores. To learn more, I strongly urge you to read my past post, The Fair Play System: How It Works.
5. Use Technology to Your Advantage
Our family still uses a shared family digital calendar, even though two of our children are in undergraduate programs and our oldest is in graduate school. They don't live with us. But it keeps us on the same page. My wife and I would be lost without one.
Questions about the schedule? Everyone understands to check the calendar instead of texting a parent. And it's also our job to add tasks or events to the calendar.
I know I already shared this, but the Better Share App is the perfect starting point for dividing tasks in the home. I also like to use AI for some home management solutions. For example, I list all the leftovers in the fridge and pantry and ask it to suggest meals to make.
6. Establish Weekly Check-Ins
Consistent proactive communication will keep you both moving in the same direction. Set aside time each week to work through the logistics for the week ahead. Every once in a while, ask how they feel about the division of labor to see if you need to make adjustments.
Professional Support
I'm the only Certified Financial Therapist™, Accredited Financial Counselor®, and Fair Play Facilitator®, and I empower high-achieving couples with systems to manage money and the home as a team—drawing on decades of national leadership and lived experience.
Click here to learn more about how and when I can support you.
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Original Post: 10/19/24
Updated Post: 11/9/26
