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How to reduce money-induced stress and anxiety in relationships

Updated: Sep 5, 2023

We were excited to host Dr. Lutter on the Modern Husbands Podcast. Her work is regularly featured in major news outlets such as the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal.



Dr. Lutter is an expert in financial psychology, financial therapy, and financial behavior. She holds degrees in marriage and family therapy and financial planning and is a Certified Financial Planner, and is a professor in practice at Texas Tech University.


Her academic background and career provided a unique and meaningful answer to some tough questions.

  • Are there trends and changes in marriage and money that cut across all socioeconomic statuses?

  • How do money-induced stress and anxiety impact marriage, and what are three specific and easy steps we can take to do something about it?

  • How can you approach friends or family about affordable fun for you when they can afford to do much more?

One question led to a particularly insightful response from Dr. Lutter.


How does money-induced stress impact our relationships with our friends?

"There's some really great research out of Harvard. If you haven't looked at it, you absolutely must. And it's called the Happiness Study. And they've been tracking people for entire lifetimes and then passing that on throughout their generations to track entire generations of families on what brings them happiness.


"...at various ages in their life, they are asked what it would take for you to be able to reflect back on your life and feel that you lived a fulfilled life... and also one worth meaning or that you're happy at the end of your life.


And almost everybody throughout the years, you can ask them at 14, you can ask them at 20 or 30, they say having financial security, whatever that means, so having great wealth, not living in debt, having a good job; [their answers are] financially oriented.


At the end of their lives, these same people are asked the same question. And while they may not necessarily say this word, the research has shown that [what] really brings them happiness and fulfillment for the duration of their life is strong relationships.

This can be our spouse, our partner, our best friend, this could be our children, our parents, or our neighbors, but it's this relationship with other people.

And so here we are trying to seek financial freedom and security, and we might be sacrificing [what matters most], our relationships."

 

Podcast: How to reduce money-induced stress and anxiety in relationships


Professor of Practice, Director of Financial Health and Wellness, Ph.D. Program Director

School of Financial Planning at Texas Tech University


Dr. Lutter shares how to reduce money-induced stress and anxiety in relationships.


Sonya Lutter holds a Ph.D., CFP®, and LMFT and serves as the inaugural Director of Financial Health and Wellness at Texas Tech University. She leads curriculum and continuing education opportunities in the areas of financial psychology, financial therapy, and financial behavior. Dr. Lutter is also the owner of EnLite.World, a research and training consultancy firm for financial planners and therapists.


Her work is regularly featured in major news outlets such as the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal.

Show Notes


0:00-1:23 Introduction

1:24-3:43 How Dr. Lutter's professional background provides her with the unique insight to understand how to reduce money-induced stress and anxiety in relationships.

3:44-5:48 The important trends and changes in marriage and money that cut across all socioeconomic statuses.

6:06-7:11 How Covid has impacted how we talk and approach mental health and financial therapy

7:12-11:58 How money-induced stress impacts our relationships with our friends

11:59-14:36 How can you approach friends or family about affordable fun for you when they can afford to do much more

14:37-17:02 How do stress and anxiety triggered by our financial circumstances impact our work relationships and productivity, and what can we do about it

17:03-20:19 How the virtual work environment plays into the same challenges.

20:20-28:12 How money-induced stress and anxiety impact our marriage, and three specific and easy steps we can take to do something about it.

28:13-29:58 The most key takeaway for listeners and the conclusion

 

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