How to Reduce Money-Stress in Marriage
- Brian Page
- Aug 3
- 3 min read
We were excited to host Dr. Lutter on the Modern Husbands Podcast. Dr. Sonya Lutter is an expert in financial psychology, financial therapy, and financial behavior. She is the Professor of Practice, Director of Financial Health and Wellness, Program Director of the School of Financial Planning at Texas Tech University.
Her work is regularly featured in major news outlets such as the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal.
Her academic background and career provided a unique and meaningful answer to some tough questions.
Are there trends and changes in marriage and money that cut across all socioeconomic statuses?
How do money-induced stress and anxiety impact marriage, and what are three specific and easy steps we can take to do something about it?
How can you approach friends or family about affordable fun for you when they can afford to do much more?
One question led to a particularly insightful response from Dr. Lutter: How does money-induced stress impact our relationships with our friends?
"There's some really great research out of Harvard. If you haven't looked at it, you absolutely must. And it's called the Happiness Study. And they've been tracking people for entire lifetimes and then passing that on throughout their generations to track entire generations of families on what brings them happiness.
"...at various ages in their life, they are asked what it would take for you to be able to reflect back on your life and feel that you lived a fulfilled life... and also one worth meaning or that you're happy at the end of your life.
And almost everybody throughout the years, you can ask them at 14, you can ask them at 20 or 30, they say having financial security, whatever that means, so having great wealth, not living in debt, having a good job; [their answers are] financially oriented.
At the end of their lives, these same people are asked the same question. And while they may not necessarily say this word, the research has shown that [what] really brings them happiness and fulfillment for the duration of their life is strong relationships.
This can be our spouse, our partner, our best friend, this could be our children, our parents, or our neighbors, but it's this relationship with other people.
And so here we are trying to seek financial freedom and security, and we might be sacrificing [what matters most], our relationships."
Podcast Episode
Winning ideas from experts to manage money and the home as a team. 2023 Plutus Award Finalist: Best Couples or Family Content
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Show Notes
0:00-1:23 Introduction
1:24-3:43 How Dr. Lutter's professional background provides her with the unique insight to understand how to reduce money-induced stress and anxiety in relationships.
3:44-5:48 The important trends and changes in marriage and money that cut across all socioeconomic statuses.
6:06-7:11 How Covid has impacted how we talk and approach mental health and financial therapy
7:12-11:58 How money-induced stress impacts our relationships with our friends
11:59-14:36 How can you approach friends or family about affordable fun for you when they can afford to do much more
14:37-17:02 How do stress and anxiety triggered by our financial circumstances impact our work relationships and productivity, and what can we do about it
17:03-20:19 How the virtual work environment plays into the same challenges.
20:20-28:12 How money-induced stress and anxiety impact our marriage, and three specific and easy steps we can take to do something about it.
28:13-29:58 The most key takeaway for listeners and the conclusion
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