One Rule of Thumb for a Happier Marriage

To understand the difference between happy and unhappy couples, Dr. Gottman began longitudinal studies in the 1970s.

They asked couples to solve a conflict in their relationship in 15 minutes, then sat back and watched. After carefully reviewing the tapes and following up with them nine years later, they predicted which couples would stay together and which would divorce with over 90% accuracy.

Their discovery was simple. The difference between happy and unhappy couples is balancing positive and negative interactions during conflict. There is a specific ratio that makes love last.

That “magic ratio” is 5 to 1.

This means that a stable and happy marriage has five (or more) positive interactions for every negative interaction during conflict.

Four more research-backed ideas to foster a happier marriage

Fair Division of Labor

Research indicates that when household chores are divided fairly, it contributes to a happier marriage. A study highlighted by Psychology Today suggests that perceptions of fairness in division of labor significantly influence marital satisfaction. 

Couples who see their division of labor as fair are happier, and this is particularly true when both partners have similar expectations and beliefs about the division of chores​.

Managing Money Together

Managing finances jointly can also lead to a more successful marriage. According to the Pew Research Center, among married adults, a significant proportion considers sharing financial decisions and responsibilities crucial to marital success. This includes aligning on financial goals and budgeting together, which can enhance partnership cohesion and reduce conflicts over money​.

Positive Communication

Encouraging open and positive communication can significantly impact marital happiness. A study from the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley highlights that how couples talk about and negotiate household responsibilities is just as important as the actual division of tasks. 

Effective communication can prevent misunderstandings and foster a sense of teamwork and support​.

Supporting Each Other's Individual Goals

Supporting each other's personal and professional ambitions can strengthen a marital relationship. Research suggests that when partners feel supported in their individual goals, whether they pertain to career, hobbies, or personal growth, it enhances relationship satisfaction and emotional bonding​.

Support for Your Marriage

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