What Makes a Great Husband: According to National Experts
- Brian Page
- Jun 26
- 4 min read

A few years ago, I typed a simple question into Google: How to be a great husband.
I wasn’t looking for fluff or lofty ideals—I wanted practical, real-world advice.
My wife had just taken a major step in her career, and we had moved from Cincinnati to Atlanta to support her. As she blossomed professionally, I knew it was time for me to become the “gardener” in our relationship, nurturing our home, supporting our kids, and stepping up in new ways.
Managing money?
I had that covered; it’s my professional wheelhouse.
But folding laundry, scrubbing dishes, and handling the invisible mental load? That was new territory.
What I discovered through that one Google search was more than I expected. It launched a journey. I connected with leading thinkers, therapists, financial planners, and relationship experts. They didn’t just give me answers. They gave me frameworks, language, and permission to grow into a better version of myself—not just for my wife, but for our family.
Here’s what I’ve learned from them and how you can use their wisdom to manage money and the home as a team.
A Great Husband Is a Great Partner
Dr. Kate Mangino, author of Equal Partners, reframed the whole question: “What does it take to be a great partner?” She challenged men to listen—not just hear, but really listen—to their spouses, to support them without assuming traditional gender roles, and to contribute equitably at home. According to her, this means creating safe spaces emotionally and physically, and being the kind of partner who shows up even when things are hard.
Define the Work, Don’t Delegate It
Eve Rodsky, creator of the Fair Play system, taught me the power of expectations. "Being a great husband means trading assumptions for explicitly defined expectations,” she says. The Fair Play system isn’t about micromanaging. It’s about co-owning responsibilities in a way that respects each partner’s time, energy, and goals.
Be Present, Proactive, and Accountable
Whether it was Dan Kadlec advising, “Stop talking and listen,” or Paul Sullivan reminding us to be as proactive at home as we are at work, a pattern emerged: great husbands don’t wait to be asked. They take initiative. They notice. They care for their partners not by being passive helpers, but by being active teammates.
Give Grace To Yourself and Your Partner
Dr. Bruce Ross and Ed Coambs, leaders in financial therapy, remind us that perfection isn’t the goal. Mistakes will happen. What matters is grace—offering it to your spouse and accepting it for yourself as you both grow together.
Think Like a Team, Act Like a Team
David and John from the Queer Money Podcast share one of the most powerful truths about partnership: “A team doesn’t win because of one player.” Being a great husband means planning, communicating, and lifting each other up. It also means kissing, hugging, and holding hands—because physical connection can smooth over even the roughest emotional edges.
Support Her Career Like It’s Yours
Dr. Michelle Kruger’s husband supports her by taking on home responsibilities and even relocating for her career. She says his respect, honesty, and consideration—especially in small, everyday tasks—have helped her succeed professionally and feel secure emotionally.
Stay Curious and Communicate Often
Dr. Scott Rick encourages us to step out of routine and stay curious about our partner’s inner world. Dr. Jenny Olson and Dr. Christopher Lewis both emphasize emotional vulnerability, active listening, and shared goals as the glue of strong marriages. Their research shows that merged bank accounts, open conversations, and clear financial strategies can prevent future resentment and build long-lasting trust.
Love Every Day. Even When It’s Hard
Mikel Van Cleve gets to the heart of it: “To be a great husband, love your spouse at all times.” That means supporting them even when it’s inconvenient. It means checking in after a long day, saying “I love you” often, and never going to bed angry. Small gestures become the foundation of lasting love.
The Takeaway: Never Stop Learning
Matthew Fray, author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends, puts it bluntly:
"In disagreements with your wife, choose strengthening the relationship over being right.”
One moment of miscommunication might seem small, but over years, it adds up. Choosing love, humility, and trust every single time is what truly makes a great husband.
I’ve gone from Googling how to be a better husband to building a community for those on the same journey. Through Modern Husbands, I help couples develop practical systems to manage money and the home as a team because strong marriages are built not just on love, but on shared responsibility and mutual support.
Want to become a great partner at home and with money?
I’m the only Accredited Financial Counselor® and Fair Play® domestic labor specialist in the country. I can help you and your partner build a plan that works, one rooted in fairness, communication, and teamwork.
👉 Click here to contact me.
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