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The stock market took a dive as soon as Donald Trump started a war with Iran. Oil prices have spiked: domestically and even worse, abroad. To be clear, the loss of life in Trump's war with Iran is heartbreaking. But as it pertains to the purpose of this post, I'm going to hone in on the current stock market turbulence. The short-term risk to our financial markets is significant. Without any capitulation in sight, the thought of the war spilling over into a long-lasting, full-

I just finished reading " When unpaid cooking, cleaning, and child care get a dollar value, income inequality in the US shrinks, but the gap has grown since 1965 ," written by Leila Gautham, Lecturer in Economics, University of Leeds, and Nancy Folbre, Professor Emerita of Economics, UMass Amherst. The authors argue that traditional measures of income inequality miss a major part of the economy: unpaid household work such as cooking, cleaning, and childcare. For context, belo

Spring cleaning usually starts with good intentions and ends with frustration. One partner is ready to purge closets and reorganize everything. The other feels blindsided, defensive, or overwhelmed. What was supposed to feel fresh quickly turns into tension. That’s because spring cleaning is rarely just about stuff. It’s about priorities, habits, expectations, and the invisible work that keeps a household running. When couples treat it as a solo project or a last-minute purge

Original Post: 11/17/23 Updated Post: 3/1/26 Few situations test a marriage quite like a family member asking for money. You feel compassion. Maybe even obligation. It is family, after all. But you also feel tension. What if this creates conflict between us? What if we do not agree? What if this becomes a pattern? You are not alone. According to research from the Pew Research Center , nearly half of U.S. adults have provided financial support to an adult family member in the

Valentine’s Day has a funny way of sneaking up on couples. One minute it is January. The next minute there are heart-shaped chocolates, prix fixe menus, and the quiet pressure to prove your love with a single night out. For many couples, especially busy dual-career partners, the day can feel less romantic and more like another item on an already full to-do list. The good news is that romance does not live or die on February 14. In fact, the most meaningful connection in a rel

Skip Ahead Common Challenges of the Mental Load Sharing the Mental Load Through Communication Ownership Instead of “Helping” Sharing Emotional Labor Sharing the Financial Mental Load Using Tools, Systems, and Outsourcing to Lighten the Load Wrapping it Up Imagine someone spinning two plates at once. The effort it takes. The skill. That’s what it’s like in the heads of partners who shoulder the mental load of managing a home. Two plates at once. It’s stressful and can feel imp

She wants financial independence. Not because she is planning an exit, and not because she does not trust him. She wants it because security matters. Options matter. Knowing that she can support herself, invest in her future, and never feel financially cornered brings peace of mind. He wants a fulfilling career. Not because he is chasing status or trying to out-earn anyone, but because purpose matters. Growth matters. Contributing in a meaningful way matters. And somewhere be

For decades, the default advice for couples was simple: open a joint bank account and combine everything: one household, one pot of money. But a growing number of couples are moving away from that model, and it is not because they are less committed. According to 2023 data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s Survey of Income and Program Participation , the share of couples without any joint bank accounts  rose by more than half, from 15% in 1996 to 23% in 2023. The shift is especia

Most couples enter parenthood with good intentions. They plan to share the work and assume they can “figure it out.” And then reality hits. In many households, child care quietly becomes uneven, not because one partner does not care, but because expectations were never thoroughly examined. New research shows something surprising and essential for couples. It is not how much child care one partner actually does that predicts dissatisfaction. It is what they expect to carry. Th

Robert Duvall is one of the most quietly commanding actors in American film history. With a career spanning more than six decades, he has moved seamlessly between crime epics, intimate dramas, sweeping Westerns, and character-driven indies. Duvall passed away at the age of 95 on February 16th, 2026. He was one of my favorite actors.  I’m not a movie critic, but I love a good movie. What I like is typically not what wins awards.  Take, for instance, Days of Thunder, which rank

A Guide to Validation, Empathy, and Managing the Home as a Team Emotional invalidation doesn’t usually show up as a screaming match. It slips in quietly. A dismissive comment. A sarcastic eye roll. A quick “you’re being dramatic” in the middle of a stressful week. Over time, those small moments accumulate, and what once felt like partnership starts to feel like loneliness. In my work with dual-career couples, I’ve seen how quickly financial tension, uneven domestic labor, and

Original Post: 2/13/24 Updated Post: 2/14/24 Valentine's Day is right around the corner. It's the Super Bowl for spouses. Believe it or not, there's actually a science to playing Cupid. Three Essential Ground Rules When there's the expectation of a gift, the gift receiver experiences less joy . Well, it's actually worse than that. If the gift giver fails to meet expectations, it creates problems.  You'll find success  with sentimental gifts.  Experiential gifts, such as a tho