How to Do Laundry: 5 Easy Steps for Husbands
- Brian Page
- May 29
- 5 min read

I didn’t know how to do laundry until about five years ago. My wife held down the fort at home, including the laundry, while I worked 60-80 hours a week outside the home.
We decided to change our domestic labor roles to support her career advancement, which meant that laundry, among many other tasks I was unfamiliar with, was now my responsibility.
I quickly realized it wasn’t just about throwing clothes in the machine. It was about thinking ahead. Laundry is more than a chore; it’s part of the mental load that keeps your home running smoothly.
Here’s a straightforward guide to doing laundry and being a better partner.
Partner Rules
Start by agreeing on the minimum standard of care: what "done" looks like (e.g., clothes folded neatly, sorted by person, and put away within 24 hours).
Be a partner, not a helper. This means that the helper is in charge of all facets of the laundry and does not need to be reminded. It's critical to do this to alleviate your partner's mental load of laundry.
Be a partner, not a nag. This means you do not micromanage the process. It's now your partner's responsibility.
Pro-Tip: My wife had done the laundry for 20 years, so I opened an excel spreadsheet, organized her thoughts on how to do it (e.g., what clothes go with what cycle), and taped it above the washing machine.
As a Fair Play Facilitator (domestic labor specialist), I empower busy couples with systems to manage their home as a team. Click here to learn more.
1. Know What Needs to Be Clean — and When
Laundry isn't just about what's dirty—it's about what needs to be cleaned next. That means being proactive about school uniforms, kids' sports gear, work outfits, and favorite items your partner or kids rely on.
Taking ownership of this planning relieves your partner from mentally managing it all.
2. Sort and Prepare the Laundry
Now that you know what needs to be cleaned and when—sort it out:
Whites
Colors
Darks
Towels & Bedding
Delicates (bras, lace, athletic wear)
Read Care Labels
Look for washing and drying instructions on the care labels of your clothing. This will help you avoid damage to fabrics.
Pre-treat Stains
Treat stains with a stain remover or laundry pretreatment product before washing.
3. Wash the Clothes
It's time to get things moving. Load the washer, but don't overstuff it. Cold water is best for most loads because it saves energy, preserves color, and protects fabric.
Recommended detergents from Consumer Reports:
Kirkland Signature Ultra Clean
Persil ProClean Stain Fighter
Tide Power Pods
Click here for a detailed breakdown of detergent matches for Proctor and Gamble products.
Here is guidance on choosing the right cycle and using the proper amount of detergent based on load size and washer type.
Fabric Type
Delicates: For delicate fabrics like silk, wool, or lingerie, use a gentle cycle with low agitation and a lower spin speed.
Normal: Use a standard cycle for everyday fabrics like cotton, linen, and durable synthetics.
Heavy Duty: Use a heavy-duty cycle for sturdy fabrics like towels, jeans, or heavily soiled items.
Bulky: Use bulky cycles for items like comforters or winter jackets.
Level of Soiling
Lightly Soiled: Use a quick wash or a normal cycle with a lower temperature for lightly soiled clothes.
Moderately Soiled: Use a normal or permanent press cycle with warm water for moderately soiled clothes.
Heavily Soiled: Use a heavy-duty or bulky cycle with hot water for heavily soiled items like work clothes or muddy clothes.
Special Care Instructions
Care labels: Always check the care labels on your garments for specific washing instructions.
Special features: Consider using special features like steam clean for wrinkle reduction or stain removal.
Water Temperature
Cold: Use cold water for delicates, colors, and lightly soiled clothes.
Warm: Warm water is best for most everyday clothes, synthetic fabrics, and moderately soiled colored garments.
Hot: Use hot water for white cotton fabrics, heavily soiled items, and items that need to be sanitized.
Spin Speed
Lower Spin Speed: Use a lower spin speed for delicates to prevent damage.
Higher Spin Speed: Use a higher spin speed for sturdy fabrics like towels and jeans to remove more water and speed up drying.
How Much Detergent to Use
How dirty are the clothes?
The more heavily soiled your clothes are, the more detergent you will need to use in a load.
Size of the load
Detergent dosage directions are based on the drum size of a conventional washing machine, but machines are always getting bigger, so if you have a new washing machine, it may have a bigger drum. Larger wash loads bring in more dirt, so you need more detergent to get great results on every wash.
Water hardness
Water hardness varies throughout the country. People in hard water areas must use more detergent to get the best results.
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4. Dry the Clothes
Check the dryer's lint filter before transferring the clothes from the washer to the dryer. Transfer to the dryer.
Common Dryer Settings
Regular/Normal: High heat, best for sturdy items like towels, sheets, and jeans.
Delicate/Gentle: Low heat for delicate fabrics like silk, rayon, and lingerie.
Permanent Press: Medium heat minimizes wrinkles in synthetics and blends.
Air Fluff/No Heat: No heat is needed to freshen clothes without drying them.
Time Dry: This allows you to set the drying time manually.
Sensor Dry/Auto Dry: It uses moisture sensors to detect when clothes are dry.
Tips for Choosing the Right Setting
Check Care Tags: Garment care tags provide specific instructions for drying, including heat level and whether to tumble dry or hang dry.
Consider the Load: Separate heavy items (towels, jeans) from delicate items (silks, knits).
Use Lower Heat for Delicates: Low heat settings are crucial for preventing damage to delicate fabrics.
Over-drying can Damage Clothes: Be mindful of the drying time and use sensor dry or automatic dry to prevent over-drying.

5. Put Everything Away
Don't let the clean pile sit once the dryer or drying rack has done its job. Fold it—neatly.
Parents, start teaching your kids to fold laundry early. Young kids can handle simple tasks like folding towels or matching socks.
Don't stop at folding. The job's not done until everything is put where it belongs.
Pro Tip: For sports fanatics like me, I do the majority of our family's laundry around sporting events. Folding while watching a game is the way to go.
Final Thought
Laundry isn’t just about clean clothes—it’s about respect, reliability, and relieving your partner of invisible work. Taking ownership of the process, from planning to folding, makes you a better teammate and strengthens your relationship. That’s what being a modern husband is all about.
I help high-achieving couples build systems to manage money and the home together. As the only Accredited Financial Counselor® and Fair Play Facilitator®, I bring both professional expertise and lived experience, including what it’s like to run two careers and raise three kids with an executive spouse.
Click here and reach out for support to manage your home as a team.