How to Use a Washing Machine: A Beginner’s Guide for Husbands

I didn’t learn how to use a washing machine properly until just a few years ago. Like in most marriages, at least according to PEW, my wife handled the laundry. That changed when we decided to restructure how we divide responsibilities, and we’re happier for it. 

We wanted to better support each other’s careers, so I stepped into a role that included laundry. And I quickly realized: knowing how to use the washing machine isn’t the same as taking responsibility for making sure clean clothes are ready when needed.

Laundry isn’t just physical labor—it’s mental labor. Understanding how the machine works is only the first step. Using it as a responsible partner means planning ahead, learning your family’s laundry rhythms, and following through completely.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to confidently and competently using the washing machine—and being a more thoughtful partner.

Partner Rules

✔ Agree on a minimum standard of care. Define what “done” looks like. Are clothes supposed to be folded by person and put away within a day? What’s the standard for how sports gear or uniforms are handled?

✔ Be a partner, not a helper. That means owning the entire process. No one should have to remind you it’s laundry day.

✔ Be a partner, not a nag. If your spouse is responsible for laundry, don’t micromanage the details—trust them to get it done their way.

🧠 Pro Tip: I created a cheat sheet based on my wife’s preferences (washing cycles, detergent amounts, special items) and taped it near the washer. It saved us both time and frustration.

1. Know What Needs to Be Clean—and When

Using the machine starts with knowing what needs to be in it.

➡ Kids’ uniforms need to be ready before game day

➡ Your work shirts need to be clean before Monday

➡ Your partner’s favorite yoga leggings? Not optional.

Own the responsibility of anticipating the family’s clothing needs, not just reacting to overflowing hampers. That’s part of carrying the mental load.

2. Sort Clothes the Right Way

Before using the washer, sort the laundry:

• Whites (undergarments, socks, t-shirts)

• Darks (jeans, dark shirts)

• Colors (bright tees, lighter shades)

• Delicates (bras, athletic gear, silks)

• Towels & Bedding

👀 Check care labels! They tell you the correct water temperature, wash cycle, and drying instructions.

🧼 Pre-treat stains by spraying or rubbing with stain remover before tossing them in the wash.

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As a Fair Play Facilitator (domestic labor specialist), I empower busy couples with systems to manage their home as a team. Click here to learn more.

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3. Load the Washer and Choose the Right Settings

Don’t overload the drum—the clothes need room to move to get clean. Add detergent before or after loading, depending on your machine type.

💡 Recommended Detergents (via Consumer Reports):

• Kirkland Signature Ultra Clean

• Persil ProClean Stain Fighter

• Tide Power Pods

Click here for a short video tutorial on examples of where to put your laundry detergent. Hint: in most cases, it is not on the clothes. And if you’re interested, click here for a detailed explanation of what those compartments at the top inside of your washing machine actually do. 

4. Pick the Right Cycle, Temp, and Spin Speed

Here’s a quick breakdown:

Fabric Type

• Delicates: Gentle cycle, cold water, low spin

• Everyday Clothes: Normal cycle, warm water, regular spin

• Heavy Items: Heavy duty cycle, hot water, high spin

Soil Level

• Light: Quick wash

• Moderate: Normal or permanent press

• Heavy: Heavy duty or bulky

Water Temperature

• Cold: Colors and delicates

• Warm: Most synthetic everyday clothes

• Hot: Whites, towels, or soiled items

Spin Speed

• Low: For delicates

• High: For towels and jeans

📏 How much detergent?

• Heavier soils = more soap

• Larger loads = more soap

• Hard water = more soap

• HE machines (High-Efficiency) = less soap

• (follow label instructions!)

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5. Start the Machine and Set a Reminder

Once everything’s in place, hit start.

📱 Set a timer on your phone so you don’t forget to transfer it to the dryer. Leaving wet clothes in too long = mildew smell (and starting over).

👶 Pro Tip: Involve your kids! Little ones can help load the washer or push the buttons.

6. Keep the Machine Running Smoothly

• Clean the lint trap in the dryer after each load.

• Wipe the washer door and gasket (especially for front-loaders) weekly to avoid mildew.

• Run a cleaning cycle once a month with vinegar or washer cleaner tablets to keep the drum fresh.

  
  

Routine maintenance = longer machine life and cleaner clothes. Click here for washing machine maintenance tutorials on YouTube.

7. Don’t Stop at Washing

Using the washing machine is just one part of doing the laundry. Make sure the clothes are dried, folded, and put away.

🏈 Pro Tip: I fold during football games—it turns a chore into something I look forward to.

What About the Dryer?

Do you need tips for using the dryer? Read my post, "How to do the Laundry."

Support for Your Marriage

I help high-achieving couples build systems to manage money and the home together. As the only Accredited Financial Counselor® and Fair Play Facilitator® (domestic labor specialist), I bring both professional expertise and lived experience, including what it’s like to run two careers and raise three kids with an executive spouse.

Click here and reach out and learn more.