Talking About Money: How Couples Can Agree About How They Spend Money
- Brian Page
- Jul 22
- 3 min read
The stress associated with managing money can be considerable for couples. The strongest predictor of divorce is couples' financial disagreements. Moreover, money is the leading cause of stress among American adults.
For most people, talking about money is hard at first, especially if they've never done it before. Over time, the conversations will get easier and you'll feel empowered. In a past episode of the Modern Husbands Podcast, Dr. Olson shared that couples report talking about money is easier than they thought, but you have to start.
10 Tips To Agree How To Spend Money
Schedule regular Money Dates.
Make financial conversations a routine instead of waiting until there's a disagreement.
Start every money conversation with appreciation.
Thank your partner for something they did well before discussing finances.
Talk about your financial values before your budget.
Understanding why each person spends or saves differently prevents unnecessary conflict.
Agree on shared financial goals.
Whether you're paying off debt, saving for a home, or building an emergency fund, common goals make spending decisions easier.
Review upcoming expenses together.
Discuss vacations, home repairs, holidays, and other large purchases before they happen.
Create a spending limit that requires a conversation.
Decide together on a dollar amount above which neither partner makes a purchase without checking in first.
Choose a bank account system that fits your relationship.
Whether you combine finances or use an "ours, yours, and mine" approach, both partners should agree on the system.
Review your plan as life changes.
Income, children, career changes, and major life events should trigger a conversation about whether your spending plan still works.
Give both partners an equal voice.
One person may manage the day-to-day finances, but both partners should participate in major financial decisions.
Focus on teamwork, not winning.
The goal isn't to prove who's right about money—it's to build a financial system that helps both partners succeed together.
Dig Deeper
Here are five of our more popular posts that focus on how couples can talk about money.
Modern Husbands Podcast Episode
Talking About Money: How Couples Can Agree About How They Spend Money
We hosted Dr. Michelle Kruger CFP®, who holds a Ph.D. in Financial Planning, Housing, and Consumer Economics. Her dissertation focused on Financial Satisfaction and the Joint Financial Management of Couples.
🔔 Click here to listen and subscribe to the Modern Husbands Podcast on Apple.
🔔 Click here to listen and subscribe to the Modern Husbands Podcast on Spotify.
"2023 Plutus Award Finalist: Best Personal Finance Content for Couples or Families"
Show Notes
0:00 Introduction
1:18 How Dr. Kruger uses her educational background to support her married clients and the importance of both spouses attending and engaging in financial planning meetings.
7:20 Dr. Kruger and Dr. Ross work through questions she poses to couples, the purpose of the questions, and some of the challenges she sees couples face, and how to work through them.
8:00 Q1 What are our long term goals as a couple/household?
12:20 Q2 and Q3 Do we agree on how we spend and save our money?
18:10 Understanding the psychology behind why it is so hard for many to save for the future but spend in the moment
25:44 Q4 Do we align in our willingness and comfort level when it comes to taking risk?
33:54 Q5 Who is responsible for day-to-day management of household finances and planning for the future? Will it be a joint activity or will one person be primarily responsible? And once an arrangement is decided on, are both partners truly comfortable with that arrangement?
39:37 One piece of easily actionable advice for our listeners
Professional Support
I'm the only Certified Financial Therapist™, Accredited Financial Counselor®, and Fair Play Facilitator®, empowering high-achieving couples with systems to manage money and the home as a team — drawn from decades of national leadership and lived experience.
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Modern Husbands Podcast
Winning ideas from experts to manage money and the home as a team. 2023 Plutus Award Finalist: Best Couples or Family Content
🔔 Click here to listen and subscribe to the Modern Husbands Podcast on Apple.
🔔 Click here to listen and subscribe to the Modern Husbands Podcast on Spotify.
Modern Husbands Newsletter
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Original Post Date: 12/21/23
Updated Post Date: 7/22/26
