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How to reduce your chances of divorce, according to a leading divorce expert

How to reduce your chances of divorce, according to a leading divorce expert

We recently hosted Leah Hadley AFC®, CDFA®, and MAFF® on the Modern Husbands Podcast to better understand what leads couples to divorce and steps to avoid it early in the relationship.

For some couples, divorce is the right step forward, but that is not the case with everyone.

Leah's feedback was consistent with macro findings that financial issues, lack of communication, infidelity, and abuse are some of the primary reasons cited for divorce. She also brought up an unfair division of labor at home.

Here are nine more facts about divorce to provide context.

9 Facts About Divorce

  1. Divorce Rate in the United States: The divorce rate in the United States stands at around 40-50%, as reported by the American Psychological Association (APA).

  2. Average Duration of Marriages Ending in Divorce: The average duration of marriages that end in divorce is around 8 years, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

  3. Reasons for Divorce: Financial issues, lack of communication, infidelity, and abuse are some of the primary reasons cited for divorce. This statistic is based on various studies, including research published in the Journal of Family Issues.

  4. Divorce Rate Among Different Age Groups: Younger couples, particularly those under the age of 25, have a higher divorce rate compared to older couples. This data is supported by the National Center for Health Statistics.

  5. Divorce Rate Among Socioeconomic Groups: Divorce rates tend to be higher among lower socioeconomic groups compared to higher socioeconomic groups, according to research from the Pew Research Center.

  6. Divorce Rate Among Remarriages: The divorce rate for second and third marriages is higher than that for first marriages, with approximately 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages ending in divorce, as reported by Psychology Today.

  7. Impact of Divorce on Children: Children of divorced parents are more likely to experience academic, social, and psychological problems compared to children from intact families. This statistic is supported by research from the American Sociological Association.

  8. Regional Differences in Divorce Rates: Divorce rates vary by region, with some states having higher divorce rates than others. For example, according to data from the CDC, Nevada has one of the highest divorce rates in the United States.

  9. Long-Term Trends in Divorce Rates: While the divorce rate spiked in the 1970s and 1980s, it has been declining gradually since then, according to analysis from the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia.

4 Key Points from Our Conversation

  1. Communicate early and often. Whether it is money, the division of labor, or other challenges couples face, much can be solved by talking problems through. 

  2. Be transparent about money. It's okay if one spouse manages all the money as long as the other spouse is kept in the loop and the finances are transparent. 

  3. Establish shared financial goals. You and your spouse should have something you're working toward to give you a shared purpose for your money. 

  4. Divide the chores fairly. Failing to divide the chores fairly leads to resentment. 

Modern Husbands Podcast

How to Avoid Divorce: A Conversation with Divorce Expert Leah Hadley, AFC®, CDFA®, MAFF®

Leah Hadley, an experienced mediator, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and Accredited Financial Counselor, is committed to providing compassionate financial guidance through life transitions. She will tell you she's had many challenging financial times in her adult life–adopting a sibling group of three, getting divorced, and building a business from the ground up to name a few. These have been times when her ability to hunt down appropriate resources and careful financial planning was critical to her peace of mind.

A former investment analyst and sought-after speaker, Leah is the founder of Intentional Divorce Solutions and Intentional Wealth Partners. Leah uses her knowledge and more than 15 years of experience to help her clients make intentional financial decisions.

Show Notes

00:00: Introduction

01:00: What is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst? 

02:06: Do you work with one spouse going through a divorce or both spouses? 

06:08: What is the difference between folks who come in as couples to work through the process together versus those who come in individually? 

08:23: Why do you believe divorce rates are so high? 

10:10: Have you noticed a trend of certain problems that have built up beyond repair, that could have been prevented early on? If so, what are they?

17:37: How much of your practice is based on the stress and problems caused by money? 

20:03: What advice do you have for spouses who want to address common issues early in a marriage to prevent them from snowballing out of control?

24:14 What are women thinking that they are not saying to husbands? 

27:55 Where can folks learn more about you?

29:32 What is one piece of simple advice that you want to leave the listeners with? 

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