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Dual career couples often have the money to live but feel like they lack the time to live fully. My wife and I were one of these couples. We know what it’s like to be time poor, and much of America feels the stress that comes with lifestyle inflation.
Living simply in a marriage can lead to greater happiness and a stronger bond between partners. Embracing minimalism together not only declutters your home but also fosters a more intentional and harmonious lifestyle.
Think of minimalists as a spectrum of folks ranging from those who take minimalism to the extreme to couples who incorporate a handful of basic minimalism concepts into their marriages.
This post is for couples new to minimalism who are interested in learning more, and perhaps dipping their toe into the water. I will guide you through the meaning of minimalism, its benefits, and how to incorporate its principles into your marriage.
Minimalism Meaning
Minimalism is more than just getting rid of excess possessions; it’s a mindset and a lifestyle choice that focuses on intentional living. At its core, minimalism encourages individuals to prioritize what truly matters and eliminate what doesn't. This means consciously curating your environment, activities, and relationships to align with your values and goals.
In the context of marriage, minimalism involves both partners working together to simplify their lives, reduce distractions, and focus on their shared aspirations. It's about creating a space where both individuals feel relaxed and content, free from the stress and chaos of unnecessary clutter.
Minimalism Benefits: Why Minimalists are Happy
Minimalists often report higher levels of happiness and satisfaction for several reasons. First, reduced stress plays a significant role.
Clutter and excess possessions can lead to feelings of overwhelm and anxiety, but a minimalist environment, with fewer items to manage and maintain, can significantly reduce stress levels.
Additionally, minimalism allows for an increased focus on relationships. With fewer material distractions, minimalists can devote more time and attention to their relationships, leading to stronger and more connected marriages.
Financial freedom is another benefit, as minimalism often leads to more mindful spending. By buying less and prioritizing experiences over things, couples can save money and reduce financial strain.
Related: FIRE Movement Tips for Couples
Minimalism: Where to Start in Your Marriage
Starting a minimalist journey with your partner doesn't have to be overwhelming.
Begin by tackling one area of your home at a time and work together to decide what to keep, donate, or discard. This process can help you understand each other’s priorities and preferences.
Discuss what minimalism means to both of you and set shared goals. Whether it’s reducing debt, spending more quality time together, or creating a more peaceful home environment, having common objectives can keep you motivated.
Minimalism isn’t just about physical possessions; look at your calendar and see if there are activities or commitments you can eliminate. Prioritize activities that bring joy and strengthen your bond.
Before making any new purchase, ask yourselves if it aligns with your minimalist goals to prevent unnecessary spending and ensure that any new items you bring into your home are truly needed and valued.
Simplifying your clothing choices can also be a great way to start living more minimally. Create a capsule wardrobe with versatile pieces that you both love and wear regularly.
Finally, embrace digital minimalism by organizing your files, unsubscribing from unwanted emails, and limiting time on social media. This can help you focus more on each other and less on screens.
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Advice from the Minimalism Community
I posed the following in question in the Facebook Group “The Minimalist Life,”
I am working on an article about Minimalism designed to help dual-career couples understand how the concept can make their lives less stressful. I need to give couples who are completely new to the concept start simply, and not feel like minimalism is a radical concept. Based on this, if you had one suggestion to include in the article, what would it be?
Below are their responses. Join The Minimalist Life Facebook group to see the names associated with the advice.
“Just because you use something doesn't mean you need it. For example, a set of 8 kitchen knives. You regularly use 5 of them, occasionally use 2 of them, and never use 1 of them. If you only had three knives, you would manage fine. Your knives would fit in the cutlery drawer instead of cluttering up your bench.”
“I reckon it begins with mindset. Think how free and easy camping or staying in a motel feels. You have all you need in such times. Minimalism can make everyday life feel a little less strung out.”
“Try to hit them with logic as well as emotion. Some research must show the debt and stress levels of those who embrace minimalism.”
“Leave work at work.”
“How much simpler and faster it is to clean a home with less stuff in it. If you pay a cleaner, you will pay less to them. My daughter has a robot vacuum/mop that cleans her floors easily and has reset her home to have just what she needs.”
“I love the quote, ‘The rich go mad from too many alternatives,’ though I don't remember who said it. So many dual-career couples believe in accumulation and acquiring bigger, better everything. However, when you have too many activities, groceries, clothes, too big a house, etc., so much goes bad, gets lost, and stresses you out that both your time and money get wasted. Create a simple uniform for work, pay off your small home, stay there, and invest more in your retirement for maximum wealth growth. Have only one or two activities to stay social and fit without stress, and eat simply and efficiently.”
“The thing that really hit home for me was the whole "we work to make money to drive a car to a job we hate where we work to make money to pay for the car and the house that's big enough to hold all the things we don't need" thing. It made me realize that fewer things would mean smaller houses, which would mean less need to have the highest-paying job.”
“You do not have to fully participate in what society offers to be or feel successful and happy.”
“Don't fall for it!”
“Change your mindset about consumerism. It is a want, not a need. One life can completely function without keeping up with the Joneses, without running to a fast food place after seeing a new milkshake advertised, and without unnecessary shopping.”
“Be intentional and reset your mindset. If you are tired of the rat race, then stop. One can still have a job or career and bring financial security to one's home without falling for the unnecessary.”
“Many people can relate to a camping trip or a vacation to a sparsely outfitted Airbnb, and they manage just fine without all of their stuff. That might be a point that resonates with people.”
“Do what works for YOUR HOME!”
“I am a blended family of 10. We both work and some things that "most" people do just don't work for us! I spent months trying to make it work, but I realized we're all for quality, functionality, "less is more," and ease, especially with this many people!”
“I really got it with the idea that every item in your home tells you something that produces either a good feeling or a bad feeling. Evaluating those messages helps me let go of the things that tell me I'm not the cook I wanted to be, the exercise enthusiast I hoped to be, etc.”
“You will have more free time if you don't have to pay back stupid shit. And the dopamine of a new purchase is shorter lived than the time you waste paying the interest on the credit card you purchased that thing with.”
“Minimalism is meant to enhance your life, not hinder it. What works for the person on your left won't always work for yourself or the person to your right. It's an adventure/journey for each family or person, and that's what makes it work.”
“I would start with clothing, books, or knick knacks. Choose a category and gather it all up to see the amount you have. Start simply by tossing anything useless or outdated (for example, duplicates). If you are unsure if you might need anything, anything under $20 can go. Don't get Hung up on sentimental items. Those can wait until you've done with the rest.”
“Start by asking yourself (and your partner) what you need to have to make life comfortable. Then, after making a written list of NEEDS, add the WANT column to the list. Once this is established, it is wise to start with the bedroom. Why? That's the room a lot of time is spent in, and it should radiate peace and harmony with no clutter. Once the clothes and whatever else is in the room are whittled down to the NEED list, leave that room and tackle the kitchen next. I would recommend leaving the storage closets for last since that's where time is involved to go through the tubs and boxes and eliminate stuff that hasn't been seen in years! It's a step-by-step/room-by-room process that takes time and commitment to the minimalist process.”
“Communication and commitment levels to minimalism between the couple.”
“Addressing the conflict when one person wants to live the minimalist lifestyle and the other agrees to declutter and buy less but is not actually committed to following through. Both people have to commit to it, or it won't work.”
“I recommend starting with just one area of life, such as minimizing the bathroom vanity or the kitchen, items in the car, drop zone, etc. Of course, the couple should agree on the area. Seeing how easy that one area becomes to live with can give the push to minimize other areas of the house/life.”
“All the stuff used to be money. That's Joshua Becker's line, but it makes total sense.”
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Conversations about Minimalism: How to Find a Middle Ground in Your Marriage
Adopting a minimalist lifestyle requires open communication and compromise. Here are some tips to help you find common ground:
Discuss Motivations
Share your reasons for wanting to embrace minimalism. Understanding each other’s motivations can help you align your goals and approach.
Respect Differences
Recognize that you and your partner might have different comfort levels with minimalism. Respect each other’s boundaries and find a pace that works for both of you.
Compromise on Shared Spaces
While individual items and spaces might be easier to manage individually, shared spaces require compromise. Find solutions that meet both of your needs and preferences.
Celebrate Small Wins
Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This can keep you motivated and reinforce your commitment to minimalism.
Seek Support
If you find it challenging to agree on certain aspects of minimalism, consider seeking guidance from a professional organizer or therapist. They can provide objective advice and help you navigate any conflicts.
Minimalism Documentary: Where to Learn More
For those looking to dive deeper into minimalism, documentaries can be a great resource. Here are a few recommendations:
Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things: This film, by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus (The Minimalists), explores the lives of minimalists from all walks of life, highlighting the benefits of living with less.
The Minimalists: Less Is Now: Another compelling documentary by The Minimalists, this film provides practical advice and inspiring stories to help viewers declutter their lives.
Tidying Up with Marie Kondo: Although not a documentary, this popular Netflix series showcases the KonMari method of tidying, which focuses on keeping items that spark joy and discarding the rest.
The True Cost: This documentary examines the impact of fast fashion on people and the planet, encouraging viewers to reconsider their consumption habits and embrace a more sustainable lifestyle.
By incorporating the principles of minimalism into your marriage, you can create a more harmonious and fulfilling life together. Start small, communicate openly, and enjoy the journey towards a simpler, more intentional way of living.
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